CUE: SndFX of shredder running.
Alger: (hums as he merrily shreds junk credit card solicitations)
Dolly: Think of all the tree murder that represents.
Alger: Think of the carbon sequestration.
Alger: Yeah. Trees grow. Absorb carbon dioxide, make cellulose. Trees get cut down, don’t decay. Carbon sequestered. Made into paper. Paper shredded goes into landfill. Stays there for centuries — according to the watermelon Left. Carbon sequestration. Q.E.D.
Dolly: Yebbut. YOU know that carbon-as-pollutant booshwa is, well… a buncha booshwa.
Alger: Just as we know that the watermelon hysteria over the killing of trees (a.k.a., the harvesting of a renewable resource) is, well… hysterical. Just like most of the hysterical watermelon enthusiasms the Left and their willing accomplices in the legacy partisan press…
Dolly: But you repeat yourself.
Alger: …but I repeat myself. Just like most of the hysterical watermelon enthusiasms the Left embosses on the public consciousness, it’s — all together, now —
Alger & Dolly together: Founded in ignorance, focused on irrelevance, and engaged in wishful thinking.
Alger: And, in this case, wrapped in lies.
Dolly: Great lecture, Alger. You should blog it.