Is It My Imagination

OR IS THE ROBOTIC VOICE that pipes up when I answer the phone, saying, “This is an important call…” [click] sounding a tad impatient?

Do other people just … hang up when they hear a robot voice on the line? Or is it just me?

(Clue for businesses: public complaint about offshoring of phoneroom operations, phone-menu trees from Hell, and, yes, robot callouts should give you pause. SHOULD. It apparently hasn’t. Just feature this: unrelenting hostility is what you reap when you insult potential customers. Claiming a call is important in a robot out-call does not make it so. And that it is a robot call engenders way more opportunity cost due to hostility than you save in not having a human being making that call.)

Remember: you called me. More often than not, uninvited. (Trust me, I’m a curmudgeonly hermit. I DO NOT invite incoming phone calls.) You owe me thereby common courtesy. Do me the favor of — you know — being on the line when you call me.

Oh, and that “Please hold for…” is so 1979. There are very few people in this world whose time is billed per-hour higher than mine. Your boss’s time is NOT worth more than mine, and “please hold for” had BETTER be followed by the name of someone I know and want to talk to. Otherwise, when he comes on the line, he’s getting a dialtone. Do not fuck with me. You’ll get nowhere wasting my time.

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