Sometimes...
...Ya jus' gotta go to war in the unnerwear ya got on.
--Dolly


The Cloud Observatory
Monday, March 19, 2012
Observation 50 (New Series)...
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Monday, March 19, 2012
A Teacher Gave Me...
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A GENTLE DRESSING DOWN for writing in the present tense. Not nearly as virulent, I must say, as those I count as idiots sounding off in their spendid vaccums who question the intelligence, perspicacity, ancestry, and hygiene habits of anyone who dared to do so. But enough to give me pause. After all, I chose to listen to this teacher for the wisdom on the subject of writing I hoped to imbibe. But part of being an artist, I have learned in my career as one, is having the arrogance to think yourself better than everybody around you, and to know your way is right, even when somebody you think wiser than yourself says you nay.
Me, I don't see getting het up about the choices artists make. They are what they are, and in the end, merely matters of taste -- not holy writ. I don't much care for rap -- scorn quotes -- "music." I was taught that music requires at minimum melody and rhythm. Rap seems almost to eschew melody even more than Johnny Mathis' "Johnny One Note," even though it has rhythm and aplenty. But there are any number of practitioners of the art I actually like, including -- strangely enough -- Eminem. The guitar riff from his Eight Mile is impresssive as all get out. After all, Chrysler's ad agency thought enough of it to rip it off for their "Imported from Detroit" commercials. And the spoken word has a long tradition in bardic/troubadourian performance history. So, who am I to criticize those who roll a little anger at perceived oppression and injustice into their work. It seems clear they are working at it and not just fronting. De gustibus and all that.
I'm not a big fan of interstitial poetry in novels, either. Standalone, fine. The pop song as poetry -- outstanding. I greatly admire Paul Simon and Justin Hayward to name but two from a long list. I just have a problem with a hero bursting into song like George M. Cohan as they paddle down the river. I skipped most of the poetry in Lord of the Rings for example. So I'm going to call Prof. Tolkien an idiot for including it in his magnum opus? How silly of me if I did. Especially since I, hypocrite I, have a recurring theme and meme in Geppetto's Log in which the characters keep quoting Joni Mitchell's "Carey." Go figure.
Some of the same people (although -- I'm glad to say -- not my teacher mentioned above) who object to the present tense also object to prologues and preludes, which strikes me as errant silliness. It's as though the packaging of an item should determine its suitability to its task. The cardboard strap used to hang a hammer in the hardware store's pegboarded display is a just determinant of whether you ought to buy the thing. Just... silly. After all, what is a prologue but a chapter under a different name? A rose by any other name...?
Speaking in the present tense is not blasphemy. It's not forbidden by God, or even Gotama. It's a choice an artist makes. To me, resistance to it out of hand is ... well, slightly north of silly. Try it. See if the work can sustain the unusual methods. It is, after all, the artist's task to muster not only his subject matter, but his medium, and technique and meld them into a whole work. Give him the benefit of the doubt and partake of the work in toto first. After all, is it really any more distracting than a tale told in the first person? Unusual, perhaps. But do we not seek out novelty for that reason alone -- that we want something unusual?
When I was first composing Geppetto's Log, back in the early Oughts, Greg Bear's Slant came out in mass market paperback. It is, as should surprise no one, written in the present tense. I took it as a sign from the publishing gods that at least some of them didn't object to the present tense for telling tales as did some of my compatriots on the Online Writers' Workshop. All that said, I ask you, my loyal readers: what do you think? Especially those who've beta'd on Geppetto's Log or Armed Citizen.
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Mark Philip Alger
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Saturday, March 17, 2012
The Caturday Post...
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MEGAPIXELS is all you hear about a camera. And, to a certain extent, as digital cameras get better and cheaper, it is all about that elusive image size to be hunted on the wide savannahs of imaging. But, as I learned decades ago, you can't live out there on bad optics. And the reason that Nikon cameras were the brand that Paul Simon mentioned in his lament to the now-vanished film brand, "Kodachrome" is optics. Easily the right-hand bookend to the sage career advice from The Graduate, "Plastics." Plastics and optics.
The best optics are made of glass. It is, however, at least theoretically possible to make lenses -- good lenses, even -- of plastics. After all, camera lenses are all about the indices of refraction and the shape of the interface. Any transparent material with an IoR above 1.0 (the IoR of water) will do. Glass, frex, ranges between about 1.3 and 2.
But I suspect the lens of the iPhone camera is made of plastic -- probably polycarbonate -- and not very well.
Of course, that a pocket phone should have a 5 megapixel camera in it at all is one of those dancing bear things. It's not how gracefully the thing dips and twirls, it's that it dances at all -- miraculous.
And, so, I shouldn't be surprised that my brand-new, just-out-of-the-box, "insanely great" iPhone's camera should be outperformed by my almost-ten-year-old, beat up, dirty, 3Mpx Nikon CoolPix. It's all about the optics.
The first picture I took on purpose of something I was deliberately pointing the camera at was of Karma, sitting atop a wheeled, plastic, drawer bin in the study. What was neat to me in that moment was that... THERE WAS NO FLASH!. How cool is that? It took a picture in low light, thus no flash, thus the cat's eyes were neither shut nor lazors-engaged.
Then I struggled with the whole download-the-photograph-to-my-computer thing. (Can you believe that the best solution APPLE can offer is to email the picture to yourself? And then they offer to make the image smaller. Like I want that.) I finally ended up with the brute-force approach of opening the phone in the Windows Explorer and copying the files over. (But that doesn't work with music, by the bye.) And I opened the picture up in my default JPEG viewer*. Imagine my dismay to perceive 1) motion blur and B) compression artifacts.
Now, the motion blur I could understand. My hands are not rock steady in the first place and the iPhone is not the best platform for steady photography. The way you have to hold it to press the shutter button contradicts everything you ever learned camera ergonomics. But if they put the shutter button in the right place, there would go your all-glass controls, so I get that.
But the compression artifacts are just a sin against God and everybody. They make Baby Michelangelo cry. There's no need for them. You can get clean images and a 10:1 compression ratio out of the JPEG format if you really care about image quality. This stuff of making fur look like feathers in order to simplify your image is just rid-freakin'-dick-you-luss.
::tout le sigh::
That was Thursday evening. Friday morning, I mentioned my disappointment with the camera to one of the artists at the Patch Factory (the inimitable Becks), who advised me that there's an app for that.
I should have known.
And those of you unaware of this and yet finding yourself in just this particular predicament, pay heed. The app is called Camera Awesome! and it is -- awesome. !. It's free, for starters, it allows you to focus in one place in your image and expose according to the light in a wholly other place in the scene. AND -- and... It features image stabilization.
I haven't had a chance to really wring it out. But here's a picture taken using the zone features.

Here's a picture of Earnie taken WITH Camera Awesome, but NOT with image stabilization. (At the time, I wasn't aware that you have to explicitly turn image stabilization ON.)

And, in the field of learning that "There's an app for that" is no joke -- well, it is, but not yet tinged with the bitter irony of FAIL -- a recent article in PC Magazine hints at even greater riches.
And I'm sure I'll have a great time exploring all that -- but later. Today, I have to rebuild my desk. One of our kittens ::coughjanecough:: appears to think that thin wires are like Vines -- the candy -- and loves to chew on them. To date, the little stinker has ruined at least one computer mouse, a phone charger, a set of powered speakers, a pair of $40 headphones (thank God they weren't the $200 variety), and my Wacom tablet. So I'm going to tear down my desk (still the temporary one of milk-crate file boxes, furniture dollies, and a sheet of 1/2" MDF) and rebuild it so all the wires are INSIDE, where chewy kitties can't make chewy kitty toys out of them.
Bad kitty! If you weren't so cute and cuddly, I'd... I'd... Nothing.
*(IrfanView, BTW, which I heartily recommend as a lightweight file manipulator for anyone who does a lot with image files.)
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Mark Philip Alger
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Saturday, March 17, 2012
It Just Works—My Ass...
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OR: "IT JUST WORKS my ass."
As I announced yesterday, I went with the iPhone. Like all such decisions, there's good and bad come of it.
Following the setup instructions, I plugged it in and fired up iTunes. I had my trepidations, which turned out to be justified, albeit not for my reasons.
Oh, life never allows your pessimism to be fulfilled as you imagine it will. Where would the fun be in that? No. While I was concerned that Apple would try to take over my life and lock up all my original work out of some mistaken notion of piracy, simply because none of it carries DRM code. But no. Apple tried to take over my life because it's an arrogant, paternalistic -- I dare say "leftist" -- company whose self-satisfied, elitist executives think they know better than I how I should run my life and organized my files on my computing devices. I've always thought that about Apple, and whereas the various companies that made up the Wintel cartel might have been different species of arrogant bastards, at least their methods tended to leave users alone in freedom to enjoy their devices as they see fit.
But I'm far too familiar with Apple's products to swallow the "it just works" wheeze. Murphy is too equal-opportunity to allow that to pass.
So I plugged the iPhone into the computer via the handy-dandy (proprietary) USB connector. It said, "We're gonna download an iOS update, Boss. It'll take 25 minutes." Cool, thinks I. I'll go take a nap. Apparently, it took nowhere near that to dl the OS update. And then it attempted to fire up iTunes.
Which promptly froze. Version required: two dot releases more recent than what I had installed. Of course. I probably should have seen that coming, but you'd also think that the genii in Cupertino could anticipate it. (BTW, how much longer is Apple going to be in Cupertino? Recent news of a shift to Tejas makes me wonder if they're just one more in the long line of objects lessons about leftist politicians, the innumeracy of the bureaucracy, and the original sin of the nanny state, and how you really do have a use for all that math they tried to pound into your thick skull-full-of-mush in high school.)
Obama: we have a math problem. The man was born without an elbow. He's got an irony bone in place of his humerus.
Thursday night was not pleasant around here. It never is when you're fighting with new tech.
But eventually, things got sorted. And, while I haven't yet made a single phone call (I have sent a text message and about five emails, though, so that's something.), things progress.
It's bedtime, now. But in the morning, I have some comments about photography and why optics are more important than megapixels. I think.
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Mark Philip Alger
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Saturday, March 17, 2012
Just Being My Usual Contrapuntal Self, Here, Boss...
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PEOPLE ARE TALKING about whether or not the country can survive another four years of Obama. They may be missing the point. Me, I wonder whether Obama would survive another four years of Obama.
Remember, he's not a lone operator. He's got the whole Marxist/Leninist/Maoist front working with him. And making sure he doesn't backslide.
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Mark Philip Alger
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Friday, March 16, 2012
It’s a Friday Tradition...
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KRIS RUSCH has written a thoughtful and well-informed post on the ongoing change in the publishing world. Well worth the RTWT.
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Mark Philip Alger
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Thursday, March 15, 2012
As Insty Says...
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FASTER, please.
Found at Good Shit
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Mark Philip Alger
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Thursday, March 15, 2012
My First Smart Phone...
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SO HERE'S HOW YOU START a dogpile in your blog comments. Mac vs Windows.
I have a choice to take between an iPhone 4s and a Windows phone -- a Samsung Focus.
I think the criteria pro and con come down to this: does the computer interface with the iPhone require an Apple computer to -- frex: program the address book, or up- or download music or ebook files?
As I am of the opinion that Apple is no friend to creatives -- taking the stand they do on the DCMA and DRM, and their collusion in restraint of trade with the Big 6 publishing houses in the whole agency-pricing-model-slash-price-fixing scandal, I will not now or ever in the future use iTunes or iBooks, so those features of the iPhone do not entice me in that direction. And, if iTunes is the only way that MP3s can be played on the iPhone, that may turn out to be a dispositive negative. (I am aware that there is a Kindle app for the iPhone.) But, if there are other reasons pro the iPhone, I'm open to persuasion.
Speak your minds in comments. As always, play nice.
Update: went with the iPhone.
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Mark Philip Alger
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Thursday, March 15, 2012
Oh. I Was Wondering...
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OG 'SPLAINS why Punxatawney Phil was a scosh off. (Six weeks (42 days) from Groundhog Day is ... today.)
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Mark Philip Alger
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Wednesday, March 14, 2012
The Halls of Justice...
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WHERE THE ONLY JUSTICE is in the halls. Or something like that.
So the FedGov sues Texas to overturn the state's voter ID law. (I still want to know where the DOJ gets off suing anybody -- EVER. If it's illegal and you have evidence of a crime, file charges. If it's not, STFU. It's that "Right to Liberty" thing.)
And it's slam-dunked because, as it's said, the state didn't show that voter fraud due to lack of an ID is a problem.
And the FedGov adduces as its rationalization for the suit? The voter ID might -- MIGHT -- discriminate against Hispanics.
From Spain?
No, Dolly. When leftist bigots say "Hispanic" that's code word for Mexican. They don't even show the same concern for Cubans or Puerto Ricans. Or Chileans.
Ah!
But... "Might?" "MIGHT"?
Somebody's head should be asplodin' from the disonnance.
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Mark Philip Alger
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Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Watchoo Mean “We,” Paleface...
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MY BIG PROBLEM is that **I'M** getting the government **YOU** deserve.
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Mark Philip Alger
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Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Instead of a Quote of the Day,...
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HERE'S A WORD PROBLEM (remember those?).
...[M]ost authors will never earn out their advance. Hmm. Let’s think this one through, as we know that advances are pretty blooming low anyway, and have dropped from 5K to 4K and falling…. (if this reminds you of the improbability drive, that’s because that is what is.) Let me run this one past your logic circuits: If the buyer of patented new mousetrap offers you a royalty of 5% and advance of $4000… and somehow you never earn back that $4000 in royalties, let alone any additional royalties, and the mousetrap manufacturer has shall we say opaque accounting practices… But when you offer him your newest mousetrap design, he sighs and says that out of the kindness of his heart he’ll take that off you for $3500… and that he’s bought seven other new mousetraps and none of them ever earned his advance… do little warning lights come up? Does the circuit that alerts you to improbable events say that the chances of someone paying MORE than the item is actually worth, repeatedly, are several million to one, against?
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Mark Philip Alger
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Monday, March 12, 2012
Just For The Record...
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TIME CHANGE SUCKS
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Mark Philip Alger
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Sunday, March 11, 2012
You Know, the Main Problem I Have...
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WITH BILL MAHER isn't that he's rude, crude, and unattractive. It's that he's a fraud. He tries to sell himself as a comedian, to which he's entitled, but, really, he's not funny. What's a comedian worth who's not funny? I axe ya!
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Gabrielle Francesca "Dolly" East
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Saturday, March 10, 2012
Quote of the Week...
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“We shall lose the West unless we can restore the use of reason to pre-eminence in our institutions of what was once learning. It was the age of reason that built the West and made it prosperous and free. The age of reason gave you your great Constitution of liberty. It is the power of reason, the second of the three great powers of the soul in Christian theology, that marks our species out from the rest of the visible creation, and makes us closest to the image and likeness of our Creator. I cannot stand by and let the forces of darkness drive us unprotesting into a new Dark Age.”--Lord Christopher Walter Monckton, 3rd Viscount Monckton of Brenchley
(Found at Watts Up With That.)
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Mark Philip Alger
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Saturday, March 10, 2012
It Occurs to Me...
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(WHICH IS A REALLY BAD headline, because it's also the post title and the URL, but WTF, it's almost my bedtime.)
It occurs to me, as it does from time-to-time, that most really BAD -- epically bad -- political ideas are born of impatience. It's like Silent Cal was purported to have said on his from-time-to-time occasions, if five problems are rolling down the road at you (and I always picture wild automobile tires doing this -- steel-belted radials, not on rims, or a car, just the tires), four of them are going to bounce off into the ditch before they get to you. So if you get all steamy in the silks for the problem -- really horny to (you know) don't just stand there; do something: anything, even if it's wrong -- the chances are you're really, really gonna fuck it up, and they get worse (or better, depending) the earlier you spot the problem and act on it.
And it strikes me that the contention "We're not gonna vote our way out of this" and its corrollary, "The only solution [I can see] is armed sectarian conflict in the streets," are born of both impatience and a very short conceptual timeline. Political change takes time. We didn't get into this mess in one election cycle, we're not getting out of it in one -- or even four. It's gonna take at least the same century it took to get here to get back.
But you sure as hell ain't gonna win if you quit at the start.
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Mark Philip Alger
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Saturday, March 10, 2012
Just Because I Didn’t Doesn’t...
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MEAN I WOULDN'T HAVE if I had had the notion -- say I told you so. Simon says of the destruction of both the timber industry and the habitat of the northern spotted owl:
By destroying the forestry industry in the Pacific Northwest the government also destroyed the habitat for the bird it was trying to protect. The reality of government in action.
Now, I am always willing to stipulate that there may be a place for government action. However, on close examination of particular cases, I am almost always forced to admit that ... not so much in this particular case.
"Almost..."?
Well, Dolly... It's an attempt at precision. Or honesty, at least. I don't know of a countervailing case, but sensible consideration demands that the possibility exists that there may be one. Which is why all the stats don't add up to 100%. Y'know?
Something your tendentiously mendacious leftist will never stipulate.
Never say, "Never."
[::snortle::]
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Mark Philip Alger
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Saturday, March 10, 2012
That This is a Possibility...
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MAKES ME EVER MORE glad each time I hear of such things that I have chosen the independent route to publication, as fraught as it is. After all, what would you do if the rights to your work were to be an acquisition in a bankruptcy?
Makes one shiver to think.
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Mark Philip Alger
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The Cloud Observatory
Friday, March 09, 2012
Observation 49 (New Series)...
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Friday, March 09, 2012
I Tend to Question Everything...
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ALTHOUGH I DON'T always speak up. But I firmly believe that the first freedom is the freedom to be left alone. Activist or proactive government is an aggressor government, and how much the greater ill to aggress against one's own citizens than a foreign nation? So I question the truism that "We get the government we deserve" and its corollary that, because we prefer to vote by not voting -- selecting, as it were, "None of the above", we are thereby somehow derelict in our civic duty.
You're using "we" in the collective sense, because you can't mean yourself -- you vote.
Yes, Dolly. We is plural and, by default, collects all those present into a single object or group. Your point?
Just sayin's, all.
Eh-heh. Right.
So I don't accept that a citizen should be required to involve himself in politics. I do, however, believe, that those who do involve themselves in politics should always put themselves at risk of life and limb. You want to meddle in the affairs of your neighbors, be prepared for them to say -- and for you to accept as dispositive -- "NO!" Or even, "Oh, HELL no!"
While it is true that all it takes for evil to succeed is for good men to do nothing, it should be taken as axiomatic that evil may not like what good men do in defense of their own liberty. And that, when the state no longer supports and defends those actions of good men in defense of liberty, the state has ceased to be a legitimate governor of mens actions and should -- read: must -- be replaced.
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Mark Philip Alger
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Friday, March 09, 2012
Remind Me Again Why...
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WE HAVE THE FEDERAL CIVIL SERVICE? Oh, yeah. Right. Because the spoils system it superceded was so bad.
Mm-hmm. Ri-i-i-i-ight.
Sher. You keep thinking that.
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Mark Philip Alger
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Friday, March 09, 2012
A Little Chatter Out There, Please...
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SO THERE ARE OVER 500 of you who stop in here at some interval or other and have bothered to sign up. Now that you've gone to all that trouble, how about commenting once in awhile.
Consider this an open thread. Maybe comment. Maybe request. Maybe suggest. Play nice, though. I'll be watching.
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Mark Philip Alger
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The Cloud Observatory
Thursday, March 08, 2012
Observation 48 (New Series)...
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Thursday, March 08, 2012
The Problem with Political Ecumenism...
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IS THAT THE IMPULSE TOWARD comity makes fools of everyone. Take Charles Lane for example. Insty's pull quote voices this fatuous nonsense:
Democrats and liberals are fond of calling their conservative and Republican adversaries "anti-science." To the extent that the right espouses "creation science," or disputes established facts about environmental degradation, it's an appropriate label.
That's right. Go right for the lone countervailing example, but mention nothing about the Left's embrace of lysenkoism, eugenics, acid rain, ozone depletion, coral reef die-offs, endangered species, the "fragility" of a desert environment, old-growth deforestation, the supposed dangers of DDT, hormone-based contraceptives, and the current big wheeze, catastrophic anthropogenic global warming -- sorry (scorn quotes) "climate change".
The real fact of the matter (But when would a news organization ever report "just the facts, ma'am"?) is that, whenever a Leftist (or a Democrat, but I repeat myself) accuses someone of being anti-[anything] what he's really saying is that his defendant is actually opposed to the leftist's misappropriation of the facts for political ends.
The Right isn't opposed to women's having access to contraception (per se). Just having to pay for it.
The Right isn't anti-woman when it argues that forcing a religious institution to violate one of its principle tenets (which, BTW, the Right also argues is just plain good sense for humanity at large) is, perhaps, a violation of one of the tenets of the foundation of the state.
Nor is the Right anti-woman, or anti-choice when it observes that, once a woman is pregnant, the choice has been made -- long before -- and argues that, for the species, rampant termination of pregnancies is both murderous and suicidal. Nor is it anti-science to observe that, with the advent of ultrasound and intrauterine micro-photography (i.e., the advancement of science), we have a finer-grained appreciation of the instantiation of human life than the old Spartan, If it survives exposure on the mountainside, it's a person.
The Right isn't engaged in a war on science when it insists on proof of global warming before dislocating the entire global political and economic infrastructure, resulting in millions -- or, perhaps even billions -- of deaths.
The Right isn't engaged in a war on women when it suggests that, maybe, interrupting a natural process with major surgery or radical hormone "therapy" might not be a good thing for the woman involved.
The Right isn't engaged in a war on the poor when it observes that coerced charity (read: state welfare programs) is corrosive for both the giver and the recipient, and perhaps the state oughtn't be in the charity business. (And, given the role that religion has historically played in charity, isn't the welfare state an establishment issue?)
And the Right isn't anti-science when it points out that electric cars were abandoned over a century ago in favor of the hydrocarbon-fueled internal combustion engine because the one works and the other doesn't, and nothing substantial has changed in the interim; that wind power died out with the clipper ships for approximately the same reason. Yes, sail power works, but it doesn't scale. Who's ignoring the established facts now?
People, you have to resist the otherwise laudable impulse to grant the Left the benefit of the doubt. They start from operating in bad faith; they have no principles they will not abandon -- those objects leftists hold which you might see as principles are infinitely mutable depending on the situation. They not only won't give you the benefit of the doubt, they will lie about you and distort your positions to put you in the worst possible light.
And, yes, in reply to Mrs. Bush (41), compromise with these people is a dirty word.
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Mark Philip Alger
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Thursday, March 08, 2012
Fifty Acres Isn’t an Estate...
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TEN THOUSAND ACRES is an estate. Fifty acres is a big front yard.
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Mark Philip Alger
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Wednesday, March 07, 2012
These people getting all hysterical...
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ABOUT CONTRACEPTION funding are actually making the Right's arguments for us. They keep wittering about "What about when medical costs are incurred; should the rest of us have to pay for that?" The implication being that, when cost shifting occurs, cost containment becomes an excuse for oppressive state behavior, then anything goes.
Or, as my old gran said, "When needs must, the Devil drives."
'Splain to me again why "we" are paying for anybody's medical care in the first place?
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Mark Philip Alger
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Wednesday, March 07, 2012
Political Name-Calling...
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(I'M FOR IT.) As the saying goes, when you have named a thing... you have named it.
We (by which I mean Rush) need to stop calling FLOTUS Moochelle and start calling her Michelle Antoinette.
Srsly.
Kthxbai.
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Mark Philip Alger
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Wednesday, March 07, 2012
I Keep Telling You...
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DEMOCRATS START OUT acting in bad faith. And Attorney General Eric Holder is one of the most egregious.
And you keep supporting them.
Shame on you.
If you are a good-hearted person, concerned for the well-being of your fellow man, the Left is not your ally. You should give no support whatsoever -- not your vote, not your signature on petititions, not your pennies in the jar: none of it -- to Democrats.
Not sure who you SHOULD support, given that a lot of Republicans are just Democrats Lite, but... do some research for God's sake. For the country's sake.
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Mark Philip Alger
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Tuesday, March 06, 2012
Srsly...
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ARE YOU SERIOUSLY contending that, because the Constitution only prohibits the GOVERNMENT from infringing on civil rights, it is impossible for private individuals and corporations to infringe upon those rights?
Really?
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Mark Philip Alger
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Monday, March 05, 2012
Oh, Goody....
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SNOW
Bleah!
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Mark Philip Alger
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Previously on BabyTrollBlog...
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