I Started Out With Virtually No

PATIENCE FOR MARXIST KOOL-AID drinkers in the first place, and here lately, with all the knickers-twisting over Amazon in the publishing biz, I’ve lost even that.

Christ on a triscuit, those people are morons!

The complaint, as I understand it is that Amazon is a monopoly (Oooo! Scawwy!) and will ruin the bookselling business — hell, publishing! — hell, LITERATURE. Why? Because they sell books cheap. Lots of books.

Are they cheating somebody? Well, no. They’re paying the same rate to publishers as anybody else would selling the same volume. And, in point of fact, it would seem they’re making a lot of people rich.

But, the panic-merchants adduce, they’re selling below the price that small independents can sell at! They … (wait for it) … they com-pete. ( ::hyperventilate:: ) And…? Well, the small, mom-and-pop independents can’t compete.

To which I ask, “What’s stopping them?”

They’ll go out of business!!eleven!

And this is a problem because…?

They’ll lose their businesses!


Well! Something needs to be done! We’re losing all the stores on Main Street!

Because…? (Sometime this really IS like leading a mule to water — without recourse to a 2×4 to get its attention.)

Well! Amazon and Wal-Mart practice predatory pricing and put Mom-and-Pop stores out of business.

Still not seeing the problem, here… If a business is uneconomic, it is wasting its customer’s money — money that’s come at the cost of parts of their lives. Why on earth should it continue to do so?

But!! Main Street!!

What!? You have some fetishistic attachment to some Disney-esque fantasy that never really existed? A century-past moment in a world in transition and you think that everybody should be paying higher prices so you can exercise your inner child?

But…! Predatory pricing!

What? Is Jeff Bezos going door-to-door with a gun and a suitcase full of books, extorting sales out of hapless householders?

Don’t be silly!

Really! How silly is it to call offering goods at a price a buyer wants to pay is … ::sneer:: … “predatory”?


Listen, you witless moron! Markets exist for the benefit of the buyer, not the seller. And all you need to do to win in the market as a seller is to offer the buyer what he wants at a price he is willing to pay. In other words, the way to get rich is to serve your fellow man. Yet, when somebody does that, you want to put him out of business? For your aesthetic fetish? For your warm, moist desire for a time and place that never existed in the first place, except in Lady and the Tramp and Michigan J. Frog?

And you’d rather trust government over business? You frikking fool! If you didn’t propose to put me and mine in danger for our lives, I’d find you actually funny. But as it is, your yearning for a dictator daddy to tell you how to run your life doesn’t just affect you. There are people around you whose liberty you’re endangering. They may react negatively. And yet…

When was the last time Amazon kicked down somebody’s door in the small hours of morning and shot their dog?

When was the last time Microsoft incinerated 80 innocents, mostly women and children?

When was the last time a Fox News sniper assassinated a mother standing in her own kitchen door holding her infant child?

Which business has armed death squads in black tactical ninja gear roaming the countryside looking for doors to kick down and dogs to shoot in the dark of night?

Which corporation employs “the most brutal collection agency on the planet”?

What multi-national (or mom-and-pop, for that matter) can lock you out of your own bank accounts, pauper you, and render you defenseless, deny you due process, and then — for good measure — KILL YOU if you’re short a couple of bucks on your bill? (A bill for goods and services you didn’t order, don’t want, and expressly told them you didn’t want, need, have a lawful obligation to accept or pay for?)

Are you OUT of your fucking MIND?

You fool!

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