I Could Do Without

THE DRAMA. Saturday, after struggling to get started, fighting getting set up, dealing with interruptions, I finally got some momentum going on putting together Toni’s bookcase. All the boards were cut and urethaned. Everything was green-for-go.

I had the assembly laid out on my Work Mates and was merrily gluing and screwing one end, when my seat went out from under me.

I turned around to see that I’d collapsed the wall cabinet-turned-base that I’m using as a plinth for the bookcase. The top board was lying in the midst of the contents of the cabinet, pancaked like somebody’d done a controlled demo on it.

Now, in my defense — yes, wall cabinet, yes 300 pounds of lardass — but all of the other cabinets in the room have either been engineered ab initio to be sat on or have been retrofitted with interior bracing to permit the weight of an Obese American’s butt spread over their top surfaces. Only this one, which has never been intended to be sat upon — because it was going to hold up a book case, which might weight a couple hundred pounds loaded with soaking wet books, but whose weight would be distributed over battens screwed to the wall studs, as well as having its principle members fastened atop the vertical members of the cabinet.

It wouldn’t ever exceed its load.

Good thing, too, because those things are not made to take any substantial weight. They’re made of MDF, and barely held together with dowels and 15ga staples (no glue to speak of).

I suppose Murphy decrees that I should sit on it almost at the very moment it would enter this immune-to-sitness state and be forever beyond the threat posed by my largeness.

And, of course, I had to fix it, which blew the rest of the day.

Fortunately, I had a piece of 3/4″ plywood to-hand that I could cut to size (using the remains of the old top as a router template), sand up to 600g real quick, and slap a couple coats of tung oil on (rushing the between-coats time by about 20 hours), and pocket-screw into place.

I stayed up til 1AM to try to catch up.I got the bookcase assembled and ready to be mounted on the wall in the morning.

Which I did. No drama, therefore not much to report. Here’s a picture. The Masonite backs get painted red to match the wall color-to-be and then glued in. I wanted to use almond caulk around the edges, but Toni’s vetoed that. She wants quarter-round. ::sigh:: What Mama wants, Mama gets. If I don’t want to fight her over it, that is. And this one isn’t worth fighting over, no matter how invincibly convinced I am that my way will look better.

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