Dear Cincinnati

CITY COUNCIL;

As someone who travels Columbia Parkway between downtown and Taft Road/Torrence Parkway four times a day, I welcome the putative initiative to study ways to improve safety on the road. (Still, please to note that the really serious accidents seem to mostly happen outward from the Taft/Torrence intersection.)

Might I suggest that a good start would be regular police traffic patrols along the pass from Town to Delta, with an eye toward actually — you know
enforcing the laws that are supposed to govern the use of the thoroughfare.

For example:

When did they change the rules about commercial vehicles using parkways and boulevards? I don’t read the paper every day (take a look at the daily paper to understand why), so might have missed this vital piece of information — the repeal of the rules about no trucks on roads where the signs say “No Trucks.”

And, for extra credit, I would argue that, if you have Truck plates, (so you can park in loading zones), then you’re a truck — even if the vehicle in question is actually a Mercedes 280 SL — and you’re not allowed on the parkway.

$500 fine. (Or whatever.)

Also:

Why is it OK for deadheading school busses to use the Parkway? Hell, why is it OK for a full yellow schoolbus to use the Parkway? If the road is that damned dangerous, why have sardine cans full of Your Previous Snowflakes bouncing around on it, barely maintaining lane clearance?

And, for that matter:

How about slapping a few radar fines on the assholes who jackrabbit out from the light at 5th and Pike, are hitting 80 by the time they reach the apex of the viaduct, and don’t slow down until they back up 30-50 deep at the lights at Kemper and Taft? I mean… the speed limit is 45, innit? Why tolerate an average of 60, then? If 60 is OK, then raise the damned limit. If it’s not, keep a motorcycle patrolman in the lot at Baines Place with a conspicuous radar gun. I’d bet there’d be a double-digit percentage drop in accidents if you did.

And:

Why the Hell are Metro busses exempt from the width and weight rules? I mean, if they’re running full, they have to be exceeding the 500 pounds-per-inch of tire width rule. If they’re not, why are our tax dollars being wasted to run empty busses over routes where they increase the danger to motorists by whatever percent?

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