Caturday

Well, Loki seems to be improving. He’s been in several times since Midnight to tell me it’s time to go to bed. So maybe the jinx thing was a bit of a stretch. I’m gonna try another one and see what happens.

WHEN MY BABY SISTER was a baby — well, a toddler — she was a living doll. Absolutely beautiful. (Not so bad now as a mother and a middle-aged politician.) People — total strangers — would come up to her — ignoring any adults in whose custody she might have been — and told her she was beautiful. Beautiful Delft-blue eyes and ass-length golden blonde hair in not-quite ringlets.

That kind of thing can go to a girl’s head. If parents aren’t careful, a child so extravagently praised for something not really his or her accomplishment will develop into a Heather. As in the movie.

Mom and Aunt Chris were very careful to instruct Sis that beauty is as beauty does. It took. ‘Cause Sis is a beautiful doer.

But this is a post about cats. In particular, Aqua, my little Aqua Bevacqua. Our feline Heather.

This is her baby pic. The one that everybody on the Internet went all googly-eyed over when it was first posted in March last year. Apparently, her mom forgot to give her the “Beauty is as beauty does” talk. ‘Cause she’s really selfish and inconsiderate and thinks the world owes her a living.

OK. That’s over the top. But of the triplets, she’s the one who is the most self-centered. The meanest one. She’ll jump on her brother Sky or her sister Jazz.

I could never prove it in a court of law, but I think she picks on Jazz in particular in a bit more than just a sibling rivalry way. And I think I detect a bit of a pattern of a user in how she interacts with the older males, Loki and Oliver. She likes to snuggle with them, but SHE gets the best positions, and they have to be alert for danger to HER, while she slumbers on undisturbed.

And we tease her a lot about how she looks like a snake that swallowed a goat or something like that. Which isn’t really fair, because spayed female cats generally develop a gut. Comes with the territory. But, yes, that thermos does make her butt look big, dunnit?

But you know that Jerry Harrison song, “Man With a Gun”? Refrain goes:

Pretty girl, young man, old man, man with a gun (man with a gun), the rules do not apply.

And there’s the verse about how she walks into a club and all faces turn to follow her? Well, Aqua… when she comes up and wants to be petted, she gets petted. When she climbs up on Toni’s chest and demands head rubs, she gets them. And if you pick her up and give her belly rubs, she will tolerate them as long — and only so long as — she finds them enjoyable, and not one second longer.

But there’s a dark side to beauty. Pretty girls attract a lot of attention I’m sure sometimes they’d rather not have. I think a lot of them develop into unhappy people. Might be why women noted for their beauty and not much else seem to have such a high rate of self-destructive behavior. The sadness.

Aqua thinks we don’t notice.

But we do.

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