Birthday #60

SO IT’S THAT TIME of year again. Plug in the old axe, crank it up to eleven, and …GIT-tar…

Na-na-na-na-nana-da-nang! (chka-chka-chka-boomp!) Na-na-na-na-nana-da-nang! (chka-chka-chka-boomp!) (key change) Na-na-na-na-nana-da-nang! (chk-chk-chk) Na-na-na-na-nana-da-nang!

You say it’s your birthday! Na-na-na-na-nana-da-nang! Well it’s my birthday, too, yeah! Na-na-na-na-nana-da-nang! I’m glad it’s your birthday! Na-na-na-na-nana-da-nang! Happy birthday TO you!

Alger turns fifty-nine today. Say nice things to him. Maybe he’ll give me a raise.

Why Dolly! How sweet. Tell you what. If we get ten comments — from ten, different, REAL people — I’ll give you a fifty percent raise!

Gee, thanks, boss!

Hey! Waitjustagoddamnminute! You don’t pay me anything now!

A-a-a-nd… your point is…?

Fifty percent of nothin’ is still nothin’

Yebbut: a raise is a raise. And anything is better than nothin’, innit?

Do I **LOOK** blonde?

Well, now that you mention it, your hair is kind of light red this last time. Did they do something different? Maybe a strawberry blonde, as we used to call it back in the ’60s?

You know, the cats are not the only ones who know how to kill you in your sleep.

Ah-ah-aahh! “Nice things.” Remember?

Grrrr! ::slow burn::

Update: So we made it to ten comments, even if two of them were from me, so — fair’s fair — I’m giving Dolly the raise. Fifty percent of her base salary.

Gee, thanks, Boss. Ya shoonta.

You’re welcome. And to show how much, here’s a bonus.

Really? Real money, all for me?

Fifty cents!? Your generosity is overwhelming!

Well, it’s more like thirty cents after taxes, but: you’re welcome. It’s your share of the money — note I don’t say “profits” — we’ve made off the blog this year.

Really? But, we don’t…

Hush!

No! Really. I know we can’t afford this. Here! Take it back!

Can’t. I’ve already done the paperwork and paid the withholding and FICA to the government. Make sure you report it. I’ll get you a 1099 next January.

Did I say this already? Grrrrr!

10 responses to “Birthday #60

  1. Happy birthday! Hope its a good one, never trust anyone over sixty.

  2. Felicitous vaginal extrusion anniversary!

  3. Nearly there, y’old fart! 😉

  4. Happy Birthday!
    Give Dolly a real raise. A hot chick needs to drive a hot car.

    • Mark Philip Alger

      Well, considering her first car was a candy-apple red Porsche 911 and her most recent a powder blue BMW Z3 ragtop, she wins.

      Gotta remember, she is a billionaire in her own right.

      M

  5. Happy Birthday from the hinterlands!! I’ve got a feeling 59 is no better than 58 was (or in my case, is). On the other hand maybe if you ignore it, “60” will just go away!! (And isn’t it the new “50” these days?)

  6. jefferson101

    As a frequent reader, and someone who has never commented here, I’ve got to break the ice for this one. Dolly needs a raise.

    ‘Sides that, I broke 60 myself last year, so I know how that part goes, too. I’m old enough to know better, but occasionally still feeling foolish enough to try it anyway.

    You can hurt yourself that way, but it’s occasionally worth it. Just remember that you may hurt yourself when deciding, and all will be good.

  7. Sixty isn’t going anywhere, except downhill towards a bunch of us at once.

    Fortunately for Dolly, she needn’t age.

  8. Happy birthday, puppy!

    (I turn 63 in two weeks or so)

    MC